you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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