Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize