i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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