IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
