ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
