I can tuck mytits in my pants
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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