You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
