he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
