I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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