but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
