Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
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