Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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