Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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