I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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