Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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