They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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