so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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