Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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