I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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