took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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