have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
