i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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