I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
