Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
