North Korea, Best Korea!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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