Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
