if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
