I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just high enough for therapy.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
