Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
i out mim tonsoeep
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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