God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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