pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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