yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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