Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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