he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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