I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Rumble strips road head = magical
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize