I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
