Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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