goodnight i made you a song goodbye
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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