i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
