Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
