its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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