New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
