We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
this beer tastes like vomit already
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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