I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
