The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize