DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
