If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
