Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
