What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
