At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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