8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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