I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
