i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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