The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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