I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
