Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
