I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm really busy with my period
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