any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
