You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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