I'm going to jail i love you
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness