I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.