i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.