Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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