I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize