whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
