i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize