I heard we made out
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
