Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
