well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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