But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
