Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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