somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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